Where is your mask and cape?

Over the years, I’ve had several friends tell me that my TV was on. Usually, they tell me this when there’s no audio or video signal going to the TV, so it’s on, but there’s nothing playing.

This, in and of itself, is no big deal… it’s the comment that comes afterwards that always makes me smirk just a little:

“I dunno why, but I seem to be able to tell when a TV is on in the room. I can hear it.”

…to which I usually have to stifle a comment like, “so where’s your mask and cape?”

Ok. So you think you have super-human hearing because you can hear the high-pitch whine of a TV? Even if that was a super-power, what kind of a lame super-power would that be?

“On a mission to stop electricity-wasting everywhere, Captain Cochlea, lacking the ability to fly, runs door to door, listening for TV’s that may be carelessly left on, but not receiving a signal.”

I got news for ya: just about any male under age 50 can hear that… including myself. I just choose not to brag about it.

Don’t get me wrong… I do have super-human abilities… I just don’t consider the ability to determine when my TV has been left on to be among them.

I have three super-powers: 1.) the ability to embarrass myself. I can do this amazing feat faster and more effectively than anyone I know. 2.) the ability to be completely absent-minded and seemingly forget everything…

Fortunately, my abilities manage to complement one-another frequently.

Let me give you an example: I have a glasses-holder in my car because I have two pairs of glasses. One of them is a pair of RX sunglasses. Normally, I get in the car, put on the sunglasses and swap my regular glasses into the glasses-holder. I drive around for a while, get to my destination and my super-powers kick in.

I park, walk into the building, wonder why the hell everything is so dark and about a half-hour later, I can be found wandering back to my car to get my regular glasses.

The ratio I manage to screw this up is about 1:1. It happens frequently enough that my 8-year old nephew went out with me to get ice cream one time and brought his sunglasses along specifically so he could forget them in the car like me.

What can I say? I’m a super-hero.

6 responses to “Where is your mask and cape?”

  1. I think you’re missing the power to stare blankly at people until they realize that you said something funny just a few moments ago, and eventually laugh nervously. (see super-power #1)