Bo’s Fat.

Who was your childhood hero?  Who did you look up to the most and want to be like when you grew up?  Everyone has a role-model they admonish and aspire toward as a small child.

For me, being a child of the 80’s, my hero was Bo Duke, from the Dukes of Hazard.  He was big, strong, good-looking and could manage to jump into a big orange car through the window without scraping his back.

When I was in pre-school, Bo was my hero.  I wanted to be just like my all-American boy.  He could “Ye-ha” like nobody’s business.  …and he always seemed to have the good plans to get Boss Hog off their tails.

I remember going to pre-school and hearing a couple of my friends talking about our favorite show, The Dukes of Hazard.  I went over to see if they had seen last night’s episode when one of my friends said, to my utter astonishment and horror, “Bo’s fat.”

I remember seeing red, feeling hot tears stream down my face and running toward them, screaming, “NO HE’S NOT!!!”

Of course, even pre-school kids, once they know they can get a reaction out of you, will push the button to see how far they can go.

Both of my friends, upon seeing my outrage, began to laugh and proceed to tell me about how obese my hero was.

You know how little kids are. They’re pushing their little bellies out as big as they can, pooching out their lips and puffing their cheeks up while walking in a circle, saying, “look!  Who am I?  I’m fat!”

That’s the first (and if memory serves me well, the last) time I punched somebody squarely in the face.

Even as the adults were dragging me away by my arms, I recall screaming, “NO HE’S NOT!!!!!  TAKE IT BACK!!! HE’S NOT!!!”

Of course, you can imagine an adult trying to figure out from a 4-year old what happened.  I’m sure the conversation went something like this:

adult:  “What was that all about?”

me:  “He’s not fat!”

adult:  “What?  Who’s fat?  Why did you hit Jonny?”

me:  “He said Bo was fat!”

adult:  “Bo?  Who’s Bo?”

me:  “Luke’s brother!”

adult:  “Who’s Luke?”

me:  *eyeroll*  “Daisy’s brother.”

Adult #2 steps in:  “What’s going on?  Why are these two boys crying?”

Adult #1:  “I’m not sure.  I saw this one hit Jonny in the face over someone’s brother.”

In the end, I’m sure there was confusion, resulting in Jonny and I not getting animal crackers at snack-time.

In retrospect, I’ve seen Dukes of Hazard since I was in preschool.

I have to say: maybe Jonny knew what he was talkin’ about.  Bo’s got a little bit of a gut.

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