The Force: choose your side

A friend and I were chatting today, in light of the recent Star Wars movie, about the differences between the light side and dark side of “The Force.”

The dark side is described as being, “quicker, easier, more seductive.”

With so many video games out there that allow you to choose which side best suits your personality, we were trying to decide which would be the best for us. In the Xbox game, “Knights of the Old Republic,” we tend to gravitate toward the light side, just because we’re softies at heart and can’t stomach the heartless actions that must be taken in order to pursue the dark side.

For example, in one scenario, an old man is being beaten by a bunch of street thugs. You intervene and have the following choice, “kill the attackers and help the old man by giving him some money to pay his debts,” or “kill the attackers and then slay the old man and take the buck-fitty he’s got on him.”

Some of you out there are like, “hey, a buck-fitty is a buck-fitty… that’s a King-size upgrade at BK.”

…but for me, I just can’t do it. Every time I sit down to play the game, I think to myself, “this time I’m really going to do it. I’m going to choose the dark side.” Fifteen minutes into the game, I’m almost to tears, overwhelmed with guilt, because I knocked a robot over and took all his parts.

…so for me, the dark side is NOT “quicker, easier, and more seductive.” Though, in truth, the light side isn’t really for me, either. That’s a whole lotta work.

“A Jedi has the most serious mind.”

…and as we all know, I’m a lazy guy. The following lines fit me a little better:

“…never your mind on where you were; what you were doing.”

So if, “quicker, easier, more seductive” and “serious mind” don’t really fit me, which would be best suited for a guy like me?

Introducing: the Dim side of the Force… designed for the lazy guy. “lazier, lamer, more mediocre.”

It’s a 3-hour self-study course, advertised by a carnival barker located somewhere between the Jedi Academy and the Sith Palace:

“Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Become a Jedi slob in just 3 easy steps. Bad Credit? No Credit? Republic Credits? No problem! Looking for a way to make the Force fight all your battles for you? Join today!”

What if Yoda had attended that school instead? Imagine a short little green guy, sitting on a ledge, wearing sun-glasses and getting a tan while sipping a nice cool glass of blue milk, while 50 yards or so away, a short, green lightsaber, completely controlled by the Force, fights an onslaught of attackers.

“Kicking much butt, am I. Have done this a long time ago, I should. 850 years wasted, I did… Another drink, bring me.”

You gotta admit, that sounds pretty good.

The Smunday logic

I got home from church the other day and proceeded with my normal routine: check messages, lunch, change clothes, nap… in that order.

The funny thing that happened was that evening as I was getting ready for the next day. As I was folding my clothes, a thought went through my head, “why should I bother putting together a new outfit? No one from work has seen me wearing THIS one… I should just wear this again tomorrow.”

That’s what I call, “The Smunday logic.” The thing is: that wasn’t the first time I’ve pulled that trick. In fact, that’s a pretty regular habit of mine, provided I don’t have any of my work buddies over to visit on a Sunday night.

I’ve recently found that I’m not the ONLY one who performs this little ruise. In fact, to my surprise, there are a good number of people I know who do that.

The funny thing is how I come to know which people pull that little game. The conversation goes something like this:

“I like that shirt.”
“This? Oh. Thanks.”
“Did you wear it recently?”
“Uh. n-no… wait, yes. Why? Do I have a smudge?”
“No.”
*puzzled look*
“I know the trick…. that’s your Smunday outfit.”

That’s one way the conversation goes. The other way is like this:

“I like that shirt.”
“This? Oh. Thanks.”
“Did you wear it recently?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
*puzzled look*
“Nothing.”

It’s a risky business, trying to determine the Smunday outfitters. A lot has to go on the line in the name of research.

Fortunately, I don’t apply the logic of the Smunday outfit to other areas in my life… say, for example, socks, undershirts, underpants, kleenex, toilet paper, motor oil, napkins, etc.

The Smunday logic is really a trait of a lazy guy… much like my blogging patterns.

Imagine me, someday as a father, applying Smunday logic to my kids:

“Hm… why should I change his diaper? He doesn’t seem to mind. The wife hasn’t seen that diaper on him yet, nor has anyone else. The box says, ‘up to 35 pounds.’ I bet he hasn’t even filled that thing up with 24 ounces yet. That one’s still got some life left in it.”

How about dishes?

“Why am I bothering to wash these? The wife’s out with the girls tonight… I ate dinner alone… these dishes didn’t get TOO dirty… it was just cold cereal. I bet I could wipe this out with my napkin, which also didn’t get much use. Ta da! Good as new! No washing, no drying, skip straight to the last step of putting away! I’m a genious!”

Laundry?

*Sniff* *Sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffff*
“I don’t think this stinks too bad to wear again. Sure, I wore it Sunday night and Monday to work, but Thursday’s Thanksgiving, and Friday we’ll be at my folk’s house. I’m packin’ it.”

You see, some things in life are meant to be consumed only once.

Some are completely repulsed by the scenarios I’ve just described, while others are now noticing that people standing near them are looking at them, to which they look back blankly and ask, “what?”

You know who you are.

Lately, I’ve been getting crushed with side-work. Freelancing is great, but sometimes it just feels like I can’t breathe.

Yesterday, I got commissioned to do a job for GM. I got the necessary files last night at 8:30. Turn-around time 8am this morning. Full animation, heavy custom text effects, and a new music score. So let’s put it all out on the table: I love tight deadlines. I love creative freedom working from someone else’s design with just enough to spring-board me into some great ideas. The final product came out fantastic. I have to say animation and sound-wise, it’s probably one of my best peices. I finished up last night at 3:30am and dragged myself out of bed and into work today.

Fortunately, today’s not a very tough day. I’m doing some new mock-ups for this year’s upcoming conference website. No biggie. After that, it’ll be smooth sailing with some simple mind-numbing HTML stuff here at GCI. Ahhhhh.

but……

…as most freelance projects go, this one had a couple hiccups. My client is presenting proof-of-concept this afternoon and got some “great” ideas that he wanted me to implement quickly.

Ok, 1.) I don’t like touching freelance stuff at work. He knows that. 2.) I really hate when clients get half-baked ideas that aren’t well thought-out and want me to “quickly implement” them.

The guy’s team has to leave at 11 to present. His team’s idea wasn’t going to make or break the project and really wasn’t adding anything good to the overall layout. In fact, it was distracting. I hated it.

…but the customer’s always right. So I whipped it up in 10 minutes, shipped it off within deadline, and off he went to his meeting, dumb idea and all.

Eh… it’s a work in progress.

I have a different project due Friday that I haven’t started yet and on top of that, I just got an RFQ on something else.

The extra green is good… a while back, I figured I’d start raising my prices to let some of the bottom-feeders detatch and give me some more breathing room… but instead, I’ve just been getting busier.

*shrug* Praise God for the extra income. He always knows when we need/will be needing it.

…now if I can just get my clients to consistently pay me.

It’s been a while since I blogged. A lot has happened since my last post. Here’s the short of it:

Played Airsoft with the youth group at church, counseled my sister to strive for meekness in her marriage, played putt-putt with Natalie (shot a 42), raced the go-karts with a pack of Girl Scouts (kicked their Brownie-butts), saw The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (didn’t really like it – glad it was mattinee – probably need to read the books to get the full effect), visited my folks in Toledo over Mother’s day, forgot my dress-shoes, went to the mall to get new dress-shoes, saw someone shop-lifting at the mall get picked up by a security guard and body-slammed (sweet), got a new sniper hat, spent the remainder of our store-credit on Natalie for hair-stuff at the Beauty-Bar salon (fun), went out to eat with the folks at a fancy resturant, waited in line for a long time at the fancy resturant, visited Ruth on our way back home from Toledo, went to church at our old church in Toledo, caught up with everyone at church and enjoyed our time seeing everyone, and watched an old Gospelcom Classic movie called, “The Gospel Blimp” (liked it better than Hitchhiker’s Guide).

More later…